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COMMUNICATE CLEARLY AND EFFECTIVELY with your children
I would like to share a post that impressed me much.
COMMUNICATE CLEARLY AND EFFECTIVELY with
your children
Communication is a two way street. Just as you want your child to listen to you, your child wants to feel that he is being listened to as well. You don't always have to agree with what your child has to say, but listen and let him finish what he has to say and respect what he says. Actively rephrasing parts of what your child has said, helps him to know that you are listening.
How you, as a parent, talk and communicate with your child, is important to your relationship with your child. Parents are their child's first teachers, and showing your child positive ways of interacting and communicating will give him the skills to communicate back to you and the world around him in a positive way.
Listening is a skill for children and adults. Listening to children helps them learn how to express their feelings, concerns and ideas. One of the best methods to teach children to listen to the ideas, feelings or requests of others is to listen to theirs as well.
Connect With Your Child
According to AskDrSears.com, the first key to communication effectively is to connect with the child. Use your child's name at the beginning of your request. Make sure your child knows that you are speaking to her and make eye contact with her. For a small child, getting down to her eye level before speaking and telling her that you need her to listen, can get her attention focused on your request.
Use Body Language and Tone of Voice
Our posture and body language is a part of the way we communicate with others. We can show someone we are really listening by our body language, including facial gestures, head movements and eye contact. Our body language can also give us away if we say one thing but mean another. Our children learn to read our body language and our tone of voice early on in our parenting relationship. "Too often your voice and expression speak as loudly as your words, and if you are bored while your children are talking, they're likely to react the same way to you while you are speaking to them,"
Know When to End the Discussion
Sometimes the only option is to close the discussion. Let your child know that there will be no more discussion on a topic. Be calm, but firmly say that this topic is closed.
Encourage Verbal Communication
Encouraging children, regardless of age, to express themselves also means teaching them the difference between appropriate and inappropriate verbalization. Maintaining eye contact and turning off the television, radio or putting the newspaper or magazine down when a child is speaking reinforces that what he has to say is important to you and also teaches him courteous behavior toward others when they're speaking.
Resist the Temptation to Interrupt
Children, regardless of age, may not always express themselves quickly or clearly. If a child experiences difficulty explaining something, gently encourage her to continue. Don't grow impatient with a child who seems to be talking in circles, but gently guide her to be more precise or try to explain in greater detail what she means or is trying to express.
Read the Signs
Pay attention to visual cues that help you understand how a child might be feeling, even if he's expressing himself clearly. Also be aware of your own visual cues. Guard against displaying anger or impatience with your facial expressions. Maintain eye contact and encourage the child to express what she's feeling and why.
Encourage Questions
Resist the temptation to ask a child a yes or no question if you're trying to get him to communicate with you, as these just lead to dead ends. Ask the child to share his feelings or ideas and share your own with him as well. Encourage polite discussions and dialogue.
Know When to Stop
Don't expect a 6-year-old, or even a 17-year-old, to be able to communicate everything. Respect privacy, but do let your child know you're always available to listen when he is ready to talk. Fidgeting, staring, distraction and pure stubbornness are indications that your child is not willing to share or express himself at the moment. Respect those feelings and let it go. Try again later.
The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam was the most effective communicator. He used various techniques to express his views and ideas in the most effective way. When the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam wanted to deliver a message to someone, he would attract their attention in various ways, such as:
1. By starting with a question
2. By giving examples
3. By using reason and logic to explain his argument in a convincing way
These are the important principle to follow with everybody, especially with children. They deserve to be given proper explanation that suites their level of understanding. Unfortunately, some parents do no use logic or do not explain things properly when their children ask certain questions. Some parents may not even allow their children to discuss or ask questions related to the deen. They might order their children to do something and only provide an explanation such as, “You have to do that because I said so!” or “You have to do it because you are a Muslim”. Such explanations are not enough. Parents should not only allow their children to ask questions, but should even encourage them to do so, and then provide them with proper answers. This is the only healthy way to train our children to be strong Muslims and to be convinced about what they do. It will also provide them with proper answers that they give to other people who may ask them why they behave in a certain manner or do certain things.
The result of effective and clear communication with children is long-lasting closeness and a strong bond between children and their parents. Certain times of the day are more effective than others for building these bonds. Among these special times are: early morning, as soon as the child wakes up; after the child comes home from school; at the dinner table; and before the child goes to bed. Parents should prepare themselves to make the most of these times and utilize them properly.
Keeping an open channel of communication with the child when he is young is an important investment for the teenage years. All of these ways of communicating help to establish a strong bond between children and their parents and enhance their relationship and level mutual respect.
COMMUNICATE CLEARLY AND EFFECTIVELY with
your children
Communication is a two way street. Just as you want your child to listen to you, your child wants to feel that he is being listened to as well. You don't always have to agree with what your child has to say, but listen and let him finish what he has to say and respect what he says. Actively rephrasing parts of what your child has said, helps him to know that you are listening.
How you, as a parent, talk and communicate with your child, is important to your relationship with your child. Parents are their child's first teachers, and showing your child positive ways of interacting and communicating will give him the skills to communicate back to you and the world around him in a positive way.
Listening is a skill for children and adults. Listening to children helps them learn how to express their feelings, concerns and ideas. One of the best methods to teach children to listen to the ideas, feelings or requests of others is to listen to theirs as well.
Connect With Your Child
According to AskDrSears.com, the first key to communication effectively is to connect with the child. Use your child's name at the beginning of your request. Make sure your child knows that you are speaking to her and make eye contact with her. For a small child, getting down to her eye level before speaking and telling her that you need her to listen, can get her attention focused on your request.
Use Body Language and Tone of Voice
Our posture and body language is a part of the way we communicate with others. We can show someone we are really listening by our body language, including facial gestures, head movements and eye contact. Our body language can also give us away if we say one thing but mean another. Our children learn to read our body language and our tone of voice early on in our parenting relationship. "Too often your voice and expression speak as loudly as your words, and if you are bored while your children are talking, they're likely to react the same way to you while you are speaking to them,"
Know When to End the Discussion
Sometimes the only option is to close the discussion. Let your child know that there will be no more discussion on a topic. Be calm, but firmly say that this topic is closed.
Encourage Verbal Communication
Encouraging children, regardless of age, to express themselves also means teaching them the difference between appropriate and inappropriate verbalization. Maintaining eye contact and turning off the television, radio or putting the newspaper or magazine down when a child is speaking reinforces that what he has to say is important to you and also teaches him courteous behavior toward others when they're speaking.
Resist the Temptation to Interrupt
Children, regardless of age, may not always express themselves quickly or clearly. If a child experiences difficulty explaining something, gently encourage her to continue. Don't grow impatient with a child who seems to be talking in circles, but gently guide her to be more precise or try to explain in greater detail what she means or is trying to express.
Read the Signs
Pay attention to visual cues that help you understand how a child might be feeling, even if he's expressing himself clearly. Also be aware of your own visual cues. Guard against displaying anger or impatience with your facial expressions. Maintain eye contact and encourage the child to express what she's feeling and why.
Encourage Questions
Resist the temptation to ask a child a yes or no question if you're trying to get him to communicate with you, as these just lead to dead ends. Ask the child to share his feelings or ideas and share your own with him as well. Encourage polite discussions and dialogue.
Know When to Stop
Don't expect a 6-year-old, or even a 17-year-old, to be able to communicate everything. Respect privacy, but do let your child know you're always available to listen when he is ready to talk. Fidgeting, staring, distraction and pure stubbornness are indications that your child is not willing to share or express himself at the moment. Respect those feelings and let it go. Try again later.
The Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam was the most effective communicator. He used various techniques to express his views and ideas in the most effective way. When the Prophet sallallahu alaihe wassallam wanted to deliver a message to someone, he would attract their attention in various ways, such as:
1. By starting with a question
2. By giving examples
3. By using reason and logic to explain his argument in a convincing way
These are the important principle to follow with everybody, especially with children. They deserve to be given proper explanation that suites their level of understanding. Unfortunately, some parents do no use logic or do not explain things properly when their children ask certain questions. Some parents may not even allow their children to discuss or ask questions related to the deen. They might order their children to do something and only provide an explanation such as, “You have to do that because I said so!” or “You have to do it because you are a Muslim”. Such explanations are not enough. Parents should not only allow their children to ask questions, but should even encourage them to do so, and then provide them with proper answers. This is the only healthy way to train our children to be strong Muslims and to be convinced about what they do. It will also provide them with proper answers that they give to other people who may ask them why they behave in a certain manner or do certain things.
The result of effective and clear communication with children is long-lasting closeness and a strong bond between children and their parents. Certain times of the day are more effective than others for building these bonds. Among these special times are: early morning, as soon as the child wakes up; after the child comes home from school; at the dinner table; and before the child goes to bed. Parents should prepare themselves to make the most of these times and utilize them properly.
Keeping an open channel of communication with the child when he is young is an important investment for the teenage years. All of these ways of communicating help to establish a strong bond between children and their parents and enhance their relationship and level mutual respect.
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Saturday, October 1, 2011
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